I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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