Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
