You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize