you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
