And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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