isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
