I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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