I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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