he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
