Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
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