she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
