end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
