Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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