separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
