i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize