oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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