so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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