watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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