she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
