Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
