I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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