hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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