I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
