Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
