is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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