you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm at about main and main street
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
