Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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