So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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