My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
