i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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