Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
