What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
