Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
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I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
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could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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