Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
