giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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