Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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