hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
