Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
