we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
