I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
