just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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