So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
it was like eating out sand paper
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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