What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Randomize