Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
