I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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