Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
