I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
