call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
The ass gains better be worth it
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