I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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