Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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