How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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