Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
