If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
