Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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