You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
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I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
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This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
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