and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
