we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
