living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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