saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
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