I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
