You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
