I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
