You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
